Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! (Syfy, 9:00 p.m.) — David Hasselhoff, Bo Derek, Mark Cuban, Kathie Lee and Hoda, Jerry Springer, Ann Coulter (what?), Penn and Teller, Michele Bachmann (DOUBLE WHAT?), Frankie Muniz, Holly Madison and Kendra Wilkinson, Chris Jericho, the fifth most important member of *NSYNC and Anthony Weiner (OK, seriously?) all show up late to the cool kids’ party and try to pretend they’ve been invited and were there the whole time.