Trump Plummets in Polls After Failing to Insult Kasich

DES MOINES, IOWA (The Borowitz Report)—Businessman Donald Trump’s failure to insult fellow G.O.P. hopeful John Kasich a full twenty-four hours after the Ohio governor entered the  2016 Presidential race has sent Trump’s poll numbers plummeting, as many supporters expressed a sudden loss of confidence in the real-estate mogul.

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