Trump Lawyers Deny Sticking Russian Spy Shoe Phone Straight Up Jared Kushner’s Ass

If this were one of the Godfather movies, Jared Kushner would long ago have been garroted by Keith Schiller in a black Escalade parked outside Trump’s golf club in Bedminster, NJ.

“You have to answer for Sergei,” Trump would tell him. “And Vnesheconombank, too.” Then Jared would realize his fate was sealed. Maybe he’d cling to a shred of hope as he climbed up into the big car, but deep down he’d know. You can never cross The Family and survive.

But this isn’t The Godfather....

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