More Men Have Had Sex With This Everyday Household Item Than They Have With Blow Up Dolls

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We’ve all done things behind closed doors that we wouldn’t rush to put on our resumes. Jesus, if my dog could speak I’d probably have to put that little snitch down. I’ve basically gorilla glued the bra and panties section of every Macy’s catalog my mom got sent to the house. I spent the majority of nights my freshman year of high school trying to decipher a nipple through the squiggles on the TV from a porn channel my parents were too prude to subscribe to....

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