Idiot Girl Takes Bath, Forgets To Document It On Social Media

Everything was going according to plan. My sometimes boyfriend was busy watching some sort of sports match at his place, and the Instagram I had just posted was doing really well. I had two bottles of $5 Pinot Grigio at the perfect temperature in the fridge, just waiting to turn my lame Friday night into something noteworthy.

My brand new candles were expertly arranged — three or four delicate white ones in varying heights casually rested on each edge of the tub. I had spent 35 minutes...

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