Dude, Just Drink the Liquor and Take the Horn Home Already

Cojoyo in Nicaragua

Ometepe is an island in the middle of Lake Nicaragua, shaped like a figure eight, with a volcano on each “O.” It is rural and slow-moving: more people on horseback than in cars, noisy only with birdsong, gales, and howler monkeys. In its sole museum reside some 1000-year-old petroglyphs, and a 1,500 year-old dildo.

At least, that is the best guess of archaeologists. It sits unassumingly behind glass alongside other local prehistoric works, maroon-colored, and shaped...

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