Aides Clip Toenails, Wash Hair Of Mumbling, Bedsore-Ridden Trump As President Enters 155th Straight Hour Of Watching Cable News

WASHINGTON—Carefully maneuvering to avoid blocking his view of the television, White House aides were reportedly called upon Tuesday to clip the toenails and wash the hair of the bedsore-ridden, incoherently mumbling President Trump as he entered his 155th straight hour of watching cable news. “It’s important to reposition the president every couple of hours because it keeps his blood circulating and prevents his sores from getting infected,” said White House aide Ryan Powers, one of...

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