1. You can always tell which farts are her farts.
If it smelt like ramen and jellybeans, you know exactly who dealt it.
2. You’ve had serious discussions re: how you’d help each other get away with murder.
3. You can tell her all the freaky shit you can’t tell your shrink.
Like how you achieved touchless orgasm by imagining yourself famous.
4. Because unlike your shrink, she’ll never...